Mr. Anonymous

Dear Sir,

I'm terribly sorry I spat on your food. I feel humiliated and utterly ashamed of my behaviour. Trust me, it was an accident!

I, infamous for butter fingers was handling your food when you requested it to be recook/realtered for the uptheemth time. On the way to the kitchen a spider ran across my path and I'm terrified of spiders (can't explain why). I freaked out and your food dropped on the floor.

In my hurry to pick it up, i accidentally stepped on it. (your food, not the spider) But all's well because nobody saw me and I flicked off the dirt of it.

The fright of the spider sent chills down my spine, and activated my urinatory glands. So I rushed to the washroom to answer nature's call. I had to place your food on the floor because I broke the plate (spider) and you don't expect me to single handedly solve my problem at hand do you? (It got caught in the zipper once and it hurts like hell)

Don't worry about the hygienic level of our washroom floor. I mop it every night. ;o)

After that, I realized that it had been 7 mins since I fetched your food from your table. Being the responsible waiter that I am and respecting the "7 mins rule of waitering", I decided to return your food to you.

I tried to get some tap water to wash away the speckles of dirt but all the taps were occupied. Tissues don't work cause they leave bits & pieces everywhere. So I did the next best thing and spat on it.

And returned your food to you.

Have a nice day.

Your's sincerely



Your responsible waiter.


P/s. Don't mess around with us. We are your waiters, not some low life that you can fuck just cause you had a lousy day.


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I've been really busy at work now, but it's all good. ;p